I had an epiphany the other day. A family was seated behind us in Church and I could hear the conversation between the little girl, Alexis, and her mom as the bishop announced that after sacrament meeting, the primary children should stay in the chapel.
Alexis, to her mom: Do I have to stay here?
Mom (whispering): yes.
Alexis: Will my teacher stay with me?
Mom (whispering): yes.
Alexis: Why do I have to stay?
Mom (whispering): Because you are in the primary. Shhhh!
As the meeting continued, other announcements, things the speaker said, and things she observed around her caused Alexis to ask her mom different questions. Mid-meeting, her mom had to go up and sing in the choir, at which point Alexis started asking her DAD the questions. This time she was standing directly behind me, pummeling her dad with her queries:
Alexis: Where is mom going?
Dad (whispering): To sing in the choir
Alexis: Will she come back here?
Dad (whispering): yes
Alexis: Why does mom sing in the choir?
I turned around and, smiling, whispered to Alexis, “You must be four years old! My little guy asks almost as many questions as you do!”
As the words came out of my mouth a light went on in my head! Mr. D DOES ask a lot of questions. And it IS a product of his age. For some reason it just hadn’t dawned on me until this moment. For the past little while I’ve reached each evening feeling completely exhausted. I’m not so much physically tired as just worn down. I couldn’t figure out what was triggering my grumpies until I realized how much I could relate to the church-time plight of Alexis’ parents! I am pounded, peppered, plundered with questions non-stop, all day long! Dallin wants to know EVERYTHING! And, of course, his favorite question is “why?” Even when there isn’t a really good reason “why,” or I've already stated it, Mr. D wants to know what it is.
Me: Honey, if you don’t get your jacket on you’ll get cold outside.
D.: Why?
Me (in my head, hopefully, but too often out loud): ARGHHH! Didn’t I just say why?
Since my realization in church, I’ve been trying to figure out what other moms of non-napping, question-asking 4-year-olds do to save their sanity. Alexis’ mom says they try and change the subject when the questions get too much or too un-answerable. For example, instead of answering a question, she’ll just say, “Hey, Alexis, did you just see that cute dog?” My cousin helps her son look up the things he is interested in on the internet. Together, they’ve learned about all kinds of things and helped quench his thirst to know it all. I’ve noticed my sister’s response to her son is often, “I’m not sure. What do YOU think?” He usually comes up with something and recognizes his own power to figure stuff out. As for myself, I’ve just tried to realize that the cause of my weariness is just a current part of who my growing and changing boy is. So, I try not to let it bug me too much and if I’m getting a little TOO many “why?”s, I’ve simply said, “Hey D, I’m not sure the answers to all your questions right now. Can you save them for another time?” And, surprisingly, it works…sometimes.
Wonder why?
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4 comments:
Oh, I hear you! This is all too familiar! Jeff taught me a little secret about when the "whys" get out of control and aren't going anywhere anyway. He just says, "you're silly, Jack!". Funny enough, most of the time, Jack giggles and moves on.
Motherhood NEVER stops does it? We finally survive surprise tantrums at tremendous volumes and then we turn into walking encyclopedias. Some kids are talkers (like your Dal) and others are a bit more introspective, but you aren't always sure where their thought process is. The questions asked are often quite revealing of what they observe and what makes them curious. At least, I think there is a method to their madness. I'm STILL trying to figure it out.
And just so you know, it is still exhausting at ages 5,6,7, & 8, but for different reasons. Sometimes it would be nice for my kids to assume I'm smart and know the answers. Some days my kids act like they know it all and I know nothing.
Thanks for the suggestions, Jen and Mindy! Mindy, I know you love Bankok, but could you please move in next door to me so I could glean from all your wisdom! Jack and Dallin always seem to be doing the SAME thing at the SAME time (maybe a product of their having the exact same due date?) and you always handle it all with such joy and ingenuity!
Haha - I'm w/ Jennifer: my kids are more of the act-like-they-know-it-all type! :o) It's funny, though, when I first read your post yesterday, I thought, Hmm. None of my kids were really ever "Why, mommy?" kids. But then, JUST LAST NIGHT, we were all watching a movie, and Miranda (6) kept asking over and over AND OVER, "Why are they doing that?", "Why is he going there?", etc, etc. I laughed to myself, thinking, Didn't I just read that on Adri's blog?! :o)
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