a glimpse at tomorrow...

Today I had a little peek into the future. I hadn’t seen Kate around for a while and realized I could hear her music in her room. She has a new CD player. It is still little girl-ish: pink Barbie-brand with two attached microphones on the sides. But, as I listened to her cute voice belting out the words to “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” along with the music, I couldn’t help but think that in the not-so-distant future I’d probably hear her singing other songs blasting from other music players. As she grows, will she prefer the solitude of her room like she has this afternoon? I’ll admit I enjoyed the free time. The baby was asleep; Dal was at school. Kate kept herself occupied with her music and her drawing pad for a whole hour. I got Primary things done, unloaded the dishwasher, checked my e-mail, changed the laundry: all without my little tag-along. But, I missed her. I wondered how many more years (or days) she’d want me to be around; ask me to play dress-ups or to color with her. And, as much fun as it is to see her independence and the enjoyment she gets from just creating all on her own, I want to still be needed and wanted. Because she is still needed. I need her. I need to be her ‘best mommy’ and friend for a long, long time.

Finally, I got too lonely to listen from the other room. I joined her for a little 'Fairy Barbie' (where the evil sea witch, Ursula, who was married to Captain Hook, chased the blue Fairy Barbie, being flown across the seas on the tail of Arial). Then, I asked if she wanted to help make cookies. And, my girl was mine again. For today. And, hopefully, for many more cookie-and-imagination-filled days to come.