done.

We’re officially done, Davis and I. After 9 1/2 months of cuddly closeness at feeding time, our nursing days have passed.

For the last month and a half my milk supply has been deteriorating and Davis’s appetite increasing. I rarely had enough to satisfy his hunger, so we’d been doing a lot of bottle supplementing. But, I was still able to squeak in a few feedings a day. Then, over the last week or so it’s been only a morning and middle-of-the night feeding. Last night, however, he wouldn’t nurse. Or, I should say, he wanted to nurse, but I had nothing to give. My heart tried to will my body to do what it’s instinctively done for nearly a year. But, for naught. After several minutes of trying and crying, I scooped up my boy, kissed him on his head, and plodded down to the kitchen for a bottle. I tried once again this morning. Nothing. At breakfast I realized it had been over 24 hours since I last nursed him. I had an inkling yesterday, as he snuggled in and sucked, content and happy and mine, that it was probably one of the last times we would do this. My body made one last ‘big meal’ for my boy, one last moment to enjoy. And, now, we’re done.

Another piece of babyhood, gone.